On the streets of the USA

o







I just came home from a week of fighting , a weekend of driving up the coast of the states and most importantly a weekend of growing up. I find that adulthood brings alot of awakenings. You seem to be awakened to what life really is about, how lovers can turn into enemies and how things are never quite as you thought they were as a child. Sacrifices are commonplace while dreaming is more of a hinderence ( yet sacred). This week I found God, strength, the inner and outer fight, calm, peace, joy and my sisters. I became an adult a little bit more this weekend. But this time, it didn't hurt as much. Rather, it felt much more realistic. I am still going to fight against it though. Well not fight, but try to marry it with the child that still yearns for intellectual innocence. If thats even possible.


Life is fast so very fast. I must find time to listen to leaves fall, to feel their crunch beneath my feet. And mostly importantly to keep looking. To look for beauty, balance, deep conversations, people with history, quick glances, dimples and rainbows.

when life was sweet

time is an ever ticking, never sleeping animal that keeps going on and on without much thought for slowing down or stopping. i stumbled upon these photographs a few days ago and iw as tranformed to a perfect day in the park with dear friends a few years ago. before marriages, relationships, job changes and moves- back when it was just us, the blue sky, good conversation ,and great friendship. being transformed to that day was completly therapuetic. i felt an instant gratitude for friendships that can last through life . this is what makes life great.

heart walking outside my chest

s




Life goes by so quickly. I seem to start alot of these posts this way. but its true.
the best thing about this crazy fast life are the people involved and the loved shared along the way.
tonight, i saw someone who i missed, well, i didnt know how much i truly missed until i saw her sweet face. shes brillant and amazing and perfect.
i am happy for her and so incredibly proud just to know her. if becoming a mother means i will love someone even one 10th as much as i love her, then i can not wait for that moment to come. i know it will be the amazing combination of true love and complete heartache.

i still miss her.

LIfe

Finally seeming to sit comfortably in my skin and what life is truly about. thoughts are clearer.
life is still ever racing by.
but i suppose its meant to do that.

Reaching the Clouds

Life is good and strange and miraculous and exhausting and moving and and and......

For the last month or so I have been growing in love, growing within my business and growing as a person. I can honestly say I am reaching new hieghts literaly with this last little trip but also figureatively. I can't wait to see what life will bring next. All I know now is that I love soaring above it all and looking for the next horizon.

Southern Satisfaction

I ran off with my sister, Mother and Grandmother for a relaxing, yet re-affirming trip to Savannah a few weekends ago.
The whole trip started off with a long , slow ride up there. It was a sweet , blessing, where I found a part of my life that I missed- the idea of finding. We stopped in Yullee, a small down just above Jacksonville that had this amazing antique store. It was a palette of perfection- all of the vintage pieces were arranged by color and I found myself inspired by the juxtaposition of colors to forms to functionality. Within all of that though, there is this idea of life. I found a dresser full of old tin photographs which just mesmerized me. It made me think of the lives that past and especially of the one I was quickly sliding through. Yet at the same time, I found visions the future in a small , white baby dress from the 1950s, which I hope will adorn the back of one of my babies one day.
The rest of the weekend was a chance of re-discovery. I was consumed into southern culture, my culture. The idea of gentility , grace and hospitality. This was evident in the history of the buildings as well as the stories which ever so swiftly flowed from the mouth of my dear sweet grandmother. The whole weekend, I found myself consumed with the idea of past, present and future as it seemed to surround me. These thoughts forced me to deal with life and in returned turn my artistic eye into much more of a realist. Everytime I went to capture an image, I couldn't help but try to find the idea of balance, form, repetition- anything that makes sense. Anything that would help me make sense of me.Then , in the mix of it all I met miraculous people. The beauty of the south is that people are welcoming. They are careful, strong, proud and most of all welcoming. I felt at home in this small town as I met some of it's residents and heard their stories. The kind of stories that connect you to the other and make you feel a little bit more alive.

Life is full of goodness- simple goodness. The past , present and future is full of goodness. People are good.
This is what life is all about.

Heat, red and mangos

For the first time since I was a child time literaly seemed to stand still. I just returned from a 5 day trip to Nicaragua where I tried new foods, sat under mango trees, slept in hammocks, hugged children and road waves. I felt as if somehow I lost my blonde hair and white skin and slipped into another culture . That for a few days, I saw what it was like to live in another world with a different family and life. I found joy, simplicity, gratitude , love and my own thoughts. For most of the time, I was mute. I couldn't speak well enough for others to understand me and half of the time I couldn't understand others- so I was left to simply soak in the moments with my own mind. Clear and open to explore my own thoughts. It was refreshing to just be silent within the hussle of life.
Then I found communciating didn't need words but just sweet , simple smiles . This was a magical tool that allowed me to see into other's lives and capture images that I have always dreamed of. It also lead me to have a tickle fight with a 3 year old, to make muscles with some 7 year olds and make friends without words. Each person was just as vast as the landscape- from deserts to volcanos, to beaches and big cities- each region had a story , each person's eyes told a different hope.
Over that entire time, I found a new part of me ready to eat the world and to become the person who can savor moments without letting them pass me by. To realize, that I am incredibly blessed with opportunities that allow me to live my dreams .
Now its up to me.