when life was sweet

time is an ever ticking, never sleeping animal that keeps going on and on without much thought for slowing down or stopping. i stumbled upon these photographs a few days ago and iw as tranformed to a perfect day in the park with dear friends a few years ago. before marriages, relationships, job changes and moves- back when it was just us, the blue sky, good conversation ,and great friendship. being transformed to that day was completly therapuetic. i felt an instant gratitude for friendships that can last through life . this is what makes life great.

Las Horas

Time has become quite a constant source of stress and frustration for me. I never seem to have enough and I can't help but think in my ability to fill time up with things to do that I am missing out on living the life that i truly want.
having a business is exhilirating, fun and challenging. I feel accomplishment and success but with that brings an inability to take care of myself. i am tired, i am pushing myself so much that i am un healthy- physically, emotionally and more.
i had a converstation with someone the other day discussing some products to put in my gallery. we both agreed time is elusive and that we need more of it. then we talked business and pricing. i told her its business and about the money- then she said to me- i guess it depends on what you find to be wealth.

it hit me like a ton of bricks?
what is my wealth? for a long time, money has been my wealth b/c i have so many bills to pay all the time but also because i do want success.

but my true wealth is the life and love that fills it.
somehow i have to believe that again.

heart walking outside my chest

s




Life goes by so quickly. I seem to start alot of these posts this way. but its true.
the best thing about this crazy fast life are the people involved and the loved shared along the way.
tonight, i saw someone who i missed, well, i didnt know how much i truly missed until i saw her sweet face. shes brillant and amazing and perfect.
i am happy for her and so incredibly proud just to know her. if becoming a mother means i will love someone even one 10th as much as i love her, then i can not wait for that moment to come. i know it will be the amazing combination of true love and complete heartache.

i still miss her.

LIfe

Finally seeming to sit comfortably in my skin and what life is truly about. thoughts are clearer.
life is still ever racing by.
but i suppose its meant to do that.

Reaching the Clouds

Life is good and strange and miraculous and exhausting and moving and and and......

For the last month or so I have been growing in love, growing within my business and growing as a person. I can honestly say I am reaching new hieghts literaly with this last little trip but also figureatively. I can't wait to see what life will bring next. All I know now is that I love soaring above it all and looking for the next horizon.

Speechlessness

Today I want to move, run, hide anything.
Just to stop the mounting list in my head to stop and to finally enjoy life. Not just life on vacations but the day to day life- the joy of listening to good music while washing the dishes, walking barefoot outside, water plants or taking drive.

Now, I just work.

but if I dont work that means i have to be alone with my thoughts, my real life.

I rather work.

Southern Satisfaction

I ran off with my sister, Mother and Grandmother for a relaxing, yet re-affirming trip to Savannah a few weekends ago.
The whole trip started off with a long , slow ride up there. It was a sweet , blessing, where I found a part of my life that I missed- the idea of finding. We stopped in Yullee, a small down just above Jacksonville that had this amazing antique store. It was a palette of perfection- all of the vintage pieces were arranged by color and I found myself inspired by the juxtaposition of colors to forms to functionality. Within all of that though, there is this idea of life. I found a dresser full of old tin photographs which just mesmerized me. It made me think of the lives that past and especially of the one I was quickly sliding through. Yet at the same time, I found visions the future in a small , white baby dress from the 1950s, which I hope will adorn the back of one of my babies one day.
The rest of the weekend was a chance of re-discovery. I was consumed into southern culture, my culture. The idea of gentility , grace and hospitality. This was evident in the history of the buildings as well as the stories which ever so swiftly flowed from the mouth of my dear sweet grandmother. The whole weekend, I found myself consumed with the idea of past, present and future as it seemed to surround me. These thoughts forced me to deal with life and in returned turn my artistic eye into much more of a realist. Everytime I went to capture an image, I couldn't help but try to find the idea of balance, form, repetition- anything that makes sense. Anything that would help me make sense of me.Then , in the mix of it all I met miraculous people. The beauty of the south is that people are welcoming. They are careful, strong, proud and most of all welcoming. I felt at home in this small town as I met some of it's residents and heard their stories. The kind of stories that connect you to the other and make you feel a little bit more alive.

Life is full of goodness- simple goodness. The past , present and future is full of goodness. People are good.
This is what life is all about.